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I am a writer, editor and reviewer based in Perth, Western Australia: my first novel, The Dagger of Dresnia (Book 1 of The Talismans) is published by Satalyte and available from their website as well as Amazon.com and other online outlets. As both writer and editor, I specialise in historical and high or epic fantasy. If you have a manuscript in preparation, don't waste money on editing too early. Instead, let me help with a mini-assessment of your work, based on careful reading of your synopsis and first 20 pages. Then, when you've worked on the manuscript in line with our discussions, I will be happy to do a full edit before you send it off into the big wide world. My fees are very reasonable - for more about my editing work, CLICK HERE

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Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Just for Fun

I have a slight spinal deformity that makes walking or standing for long periods rather uncomfortable, so I avoid those activities as much as possible. However, I have friends who are fanatical about regular walking, which horrifies me. So I've collected a few jokes about walking from forwards I've received via email and I've saved them here to justfy my aversion to walking.

So - the importance of not walking...

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $4,000 per month, in geriatric nappies. As I see it, the only advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she!'

I only like long walks when they are taken by people who annoy me. In fact, the only reason I would take up walking would be so I could hear heavy breathing again! But I'd have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing… Besides, you can get lost walking. My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no idea where the hell he is.

Despite the above, I know I’ve had a lot of exercise over the last few years, just getting 'over the hill'. Mind you, I did join a health club; spent about 250 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there more than once! But once was enough for me. Now, every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.


We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'll admit to having flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. (Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a pub with a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.)

I know that if you’re a walking enthusiast, no warning from me will stop you. But please, if you’re ever tempted to try cross-country skiing, for heaven’s sake start with a small country! Or take up Nordic Walking instead, like Marko Kantaneva in the pic. He invented it, silly man... (Picture courtesy Wikimedia Commons)

You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail them the link? It will save you the walk.

4 comments:

Jo said...

I sure have trouble walking these days although I bought myself a treadmill. Haven't been able to use it for a couple of months.

Sorry you have problems walking or standing, that often happens anyway as you get older.

Jo said...

I forgot to say we used to cross country ski when we were younger. Didn't get far across Canada though, big country.

Satima Flavell said...

When I lived in Massachusetts some of my workmates used to ski to work. I was never tempted to try it:-).

Yes, old age is a pain, eh? I find walking more and more uncomfortable as I get older, but a lot of it is due to weight gain. It's a vicious circle: walking hurts, don't walk, gain weight, walking hurts even more. I'm trtying to reduce my weight but that's another story for another blog post!

Jo said...

Ain't that the truth, the older you get the worse it gets. Some people escape the problems, sadly I am not one of them.

Couldn't have used the skis to go to work everywhere would have been ploughed and cleaned off before I headed out.

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